Scattered Thoughts


I began writing this post nearly a year ago. My poor, poor abandoned blog. It's been a whole year and, really, not much has changed. I can't decide if that's comforting or unsettling. Cunsettling? In any case, I'm just gonna go ahead and post this so it's out there in the open. Maybe then I will confront these long-lingering desires and issues.

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There are always so many things I'd like to do or be.

I'd like to be proficient at the piano.
I'd like to learn French.
I'd like to watch less television.
I'd like to read more books.

How do I allot myself enough time every day to do all of these things? Are we as humans always striving toward betterment? Toward self-improvement? Is it an endless cycle? One which we will never attain?

It is unquestionable that I am a good person. A person who by all accounts, does more than one should. I exercise near daily. I clean up after myself. I present myself well and professionally at work. I have many friends. I make time for people. I think of others, but if I'm honest, I think about myself more often (but don't we all?).

What are concrete things I can do to change my patterns and behaviors? Can I reframe my thinking in some way? Perhaps an if/then type of rewards system?

If you read for one hour, you can watch tv for one hour (perhaps, by that time, you won't even want to!).
If you exercise for one hour, you can lay on the couch/your bed for as long as you need to.
If you play the piano for 30 minutes, you can do whatever else you want for 30 minutes.
If you spend money on something superfluous, you must pay half/match that amount on your credit card.

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Photo: @dianalatigra

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