Ah! That's me! Or: Another time my horoscope rang true
Honestly, I think we read horoscopes for selfish reasons. We just want to feel like that what we're feeling/thinking/emoting is validated by someone else out there. Maybe other people out there are neurotic like me! ::Reads horoscope furiously for anything relatable:: Ah, yes the universe gets me!
Anyway, this little ditty came up in my horoscope today and it's accurate as hell:
Warning: With Mercury retrograde until the 9th, you run the risk of spreading yourself too thin. Write down the top three goals (max!) you want to accomplish in October, and focus solely on those. After the 9th, you’ll feel the pace pick up at the office. Since this can get stressful, make sure you’re burning off steam with regular exercise.
I have been spread SO thin by social and personal obligations that I had a full-on meltdown last night. I was crying uncontrollably because I have so many great things going on in my life and I can't do them all. I want to be Wonder Woman! I want to carry the world! But my arms aren't big enough. And I haven't done enough strengthening exercises to bear that unimaginable weight. So why do I try? Shouldn't I just focus on small loads and work my way up to the heavy lifting? (3 goals (max!))
I'm a list-maker. I've written countless lists and left them in various places--my planner at work, notes on my phone, emails to myself, texts to friends. They are mostly lists of things I want to do, the person I want to be and what it takes to get there, what I need for my Halloween costume, how I can save more money and pay off my credit card, but also how I can buy all new furniture for my room, and the articles of clothing I need to buy to have Elizabeth Olsen's closet, and how I can go to yoga this week, when will I practice piano, where do I want to live with Shane and before I know it, I'm spiraling into a whirpool of anxiety--overwhelmed with all the possibilities and seemingly endless list of things to do to help me become the version of me that I want.
But what I need to do is step back and realize that this is it. This is me. I am, who I am, who I am, who I am. I am a mostly neurotic, slightly normal person who is just trying to figure her shit out. Bear with me! I'm buffering....