Cleanse Day Two

I was a little nervous for the day again. I was scared I would feel so famished like I did yesterday morning. Instead, I woke up full and felt energetic. Shane and I had a fun morning and I drank the Greenest #2 juice.  I don't have any hunger pains like I did yesterday!

10:15 am: I do feel a little tired here at work, but that's pretty normal. I might start off the day with a little green tea to give me a jump start of energy. Plus it's pretty chilly today (LA polar vortex watup?) and a warm cup of something sounds really nice. I know it's crazy, but I did feel lighter when I woke up. A little leaner. A little cleaner. But I've got to be honest, I can't wait to eat something with cheese on Saturday. Cheese and fries. Chili cheese fries. Maybe I won't feel that way by tomorrow...maybe I'll keep up the healthy choices?

11:20 am: Accidentally bought a $4 green tea. Wtf is that Brentwood?

12:30 pm:  Jackie reminded me about bagels. Once I'm done cleansing, they will never be taken for granted again.

I've realized a few things about food and eating over the past day and a half. Firstly, food is great. I really love it. I really miss it, too. But I am okay without it. So what does that mean? It means that I do not have to eat as much or as often as I do. It means I should select only the best foods possible, because I do not need to fill up on a stack of Pringles, and miss out on enjoying a really filling and rich meal. It means I should consider buying foods that I eat, rather than impulse shopping, buying things I think I should or might eat. It also means that I am very blessed and very privileged to be able to do a cleanse where I am consciously choosing to not eat food by choice. It gives me that bigger picture clarity about the people in this world/life who do not have this luxury and instead suffer from starvation. This cleanse makes me think a lot; About life, about food, about community.

The communal aspect of a shared food experience, above all else, is something that in one day I have missed more than I missed the actual food. Last night I spent the entire evening in bed. Usually when I get off work, I go to yoga and then call a friend or Shane to make plans for dinner and drinks. I didn't have the energy for yoga, which was disconcerting. I felt lost for a couple of hours. Looking at my phone every few minutes, in my empty, internet-less apartment, thinking,"What can I do with people after work that doesn't revolve around food or drink?" I couldn't come up with an answer, so I stayed in bed. Even though it was an abnormal evening for me, I have to admit I really enjoyed the time to myself. I don't take many "nights off", so this actually felt like an added benefit to the cleansing process. My counselor will be proud.

1:50 pm: Haven't felt hungry at all today! The nutrients are doing their job. Feeling awake, alert, light, and have to pee all the time.

5:00 pm: Clearly, this day has been much easier than yesterday. I have been on top of  my tasks at work, been able to focus on conversations, and I generally feel normal, if not better. I definitely can do this for three days. I don't really want to do it anymore, but I can, so I will, because otherwise, why did I do it? So many commas.

6:00 pm: Made it through the work day really easy. I wish I could figure out what to do this evening! Maybe I'll go to yoga at 6:45?? Hopefully I have enough energy!

Ended up practicing yoga last night and it was a great time. I felt very flexible and open. The poses were a perfect blend of effort and ease. My savasana was a bit strange, clouded with racing thoughts and confusion, but by the end of the meditation I was back on track, calm and feeling very centered. I went home and yet again, snuggled right back into bed at 8:15. Like I've said before, this cleanse in combination with having my own room  (and bed!) for the first time in 5 months, has provided me with an opportunity to hibernate and become a little selfish and introspective. Over and over, I've heard from family, friends, mentors, and the like that I need to take care of myself before I can fully care for others. I feel the truth of it now. I do feel rejuvenated. I went to bed easily and it was another very deep sleep.


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